Insanity in a Cup
by Makaria Lee
Summary: In which Amy is a boy, Dan a girl, Ian a girl, Natalie a boy and so on. Little tidbits of the Cahills in opposite sexes, for the fun of it.
1. Sinna

**These have been on tumblr for a while, but I decided to move them over to here.**

**Basically this is going to consist of Genderbent!Cahills fics whenever I write them, if I ever write them again.**

**(They're quite fun, believe it or not)**

**A who's who guide is located at the bottom of each fic (just for the sake of anyone who wants to guess at who's who).**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Sinna Starling was the most irksome boy Ianna had come by yet.

They got along perfectly well, she'd even referred to him as her friend. She was insulted when he thought of her as a Vesper, even more so when he accused her of treachery and siding with her father. He ate his words when she found and freed his sister and that Neil fellow (she tried to save the others as well - specifically Natale - but they all insisted she only take the injured one and blind one. Strange bunch, they were). Sinna apologized, and the rest of the hostages were saved and the Vespers were stopped within the week.

Ianna had thought that the horrible accusation was the lowest Sinna would get, but she was horribly wrong.

He was insulting her honor.

"Honestly," he laughed, "Jaimy, of all people? You can't ask _Jaimy_ out?"

She glared at him. "Don't laugh, it's not as if you can ask Elizabeth out."

Sinna's face reddened at the mention of the Holt girl. "Well, you know, I rarely see her. You see Jaimy all the time." He flipped a bit of hair back. "Besides, it's _Jaimy_."

"You're making fun of your best friend, I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that." Ianna rolled her eyes and stood up, grabbing her things to leave. "I'm not going to discuss this with you anymore. You're not a very good friend."

He sneered. "As if you're any better."

"William seems to like me just fine."

"He probably _likes_ you."

Ianna rolled her eyes once more. "I remind him of his sister, so I don't-"

"So he's got a thing for his sister," Sinna shrugged. "It's like incest but not."

Ianna gave him a moment to think a little longer. She was hoping that was a joke, Sinna was good at insulting jokes, but he seemed rather serious. "His dead sister," Ianna said, an attempt to give the poor boy a hint. "His dead-by-suicide sister."

Sinna raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Ianna sighed through her nose and left, leaving Sinna to deal with the bill.

* * *

**Sinna- Sinead  
****Ianna - Ian  
Jaimy - Amy**  
**Elizabeth - Hamilton**  
**William - Genderbent OC**  
**Neil - Nellie**  
**Natale - Natalie**

**Feel free to shoot me any questions or complaints.**

**Have a good day, everyone~**


	2. Jacky

Jacky was at wit's end.

Jean had somehow managed to get the slime on the ceiling.

Or maybe it was Danni.

Either way, she would have to clean it up.

Her sister gawked at it, her friend laughing. "Oh, man!" She exclaimed. "That is just... wow. I did not expect that."

Jacky turned and pointed upstairs. The younger girls didn't need another hint and scrambled up to Jean's room. The door slammed loudly, echoing through the house. Jacky was glad their mother wasn't home, she did not appreciate the slamming of doors.

She looked up at the pool of slime on the ceiling. The old cornstarch-and-water mixture. The girls had used a little bit too much cornstarch, making the substance thicker than it normally would be. It gooped down onto the floor, but not as fast as Jacky would've liked. It was much easier to clean the tiles than the rugged ceiling.

It occurred to her for a moment that this slime was an easy clean-up. At least, she remembered it being so from her younger days. But, alas, that was on skin and smooth surfaces. This stuff on that surface wouldn't be easy.

Especially since it was the goddamn _ceiling._

She finished her internal complaining and took out the mop. One way or another, this would be clean.

Most of it ended up in her hair.

* * *

**Jacky - Jake**  
**Jean Louis - Atticus**  
**Danni/Danielle - Dan**


	3. Two of Three

Grass stains on her khakis was not ideal.

Sticks and leaves in her hair was not ideal.

Nearly setting fire to Jaimy's hair was not ideal.

Camping was not an ideal first date.

(it wasn't technically a date at all. But she and Jaimy were alone and that was that.)

"Ianna?"

She hesitantly raised her gaze. "Yes?"

"You seem really tense lately. Is something up?"

She bit her lip and looked away. She didn't want him to know, not just yet. Not while he was still with _Evanna._ Of all people he could've asked out, it had to be this girl. Of course, he had seemed rather disappointed the day she tore her own heart out. When she had turned him down flat. If she hadn't done that... would he have asked her out?

"Ianna, you're drifting off. Is something wrong?"

"No," she said far too quickly, "no, nothing is wrong."

He leaned forward and glared at her. "Don't give me bull, Ianna. I know you."

She took a deep breath and straightened her spine, trying to make herself seem angry. "No you don't, you don't know anything about me!"

Jaimy stood up and grabbed her shoulders, giving her a light shake. "Ianna, stop this outer-shell crap, it's getting us nowhere. If you don't trust me or like me enough to explain to me what exactly is going on, fine." He let her go and run his fingers through his hair. "I just... I just want to help, you know?"

Ianna frowned. "So much has happened," she whispered, "it's all so different from what I'm used to. I-I don't know exactly what to do anymore. I don't think I ever did."

Jaimy sat down next to her and grabbed her right hand, running his thumb against her fingers. Ianna wasn't the blushing type, though she was thankful for the darkness and fire. He said something about how she always had hi-them. She noticed very carefully that he very nearly said she always had him. She always had him, but then he stopped. She always had them. Not just him and Danni and Neil, he explained, everyone. Elizabeth, Natale (of course you have him, Ianna), Sinna, Talia, Nadia, everyone.

She brought up her knees and curled into a ball. That wasn't true, she told herself, I have no one. No one trusts me, not even after what I did, however I tried to redeem myself.

She heard him call her name, felt his arm around her shoulders. But she didn't want to listen. Jaimy had been spouting this nonsense for a while now, as if he were trying to convince himself of the very fact all the time.

But Jaimy needn't worry about who was on his side.

Everyone was.

Everyone loved Jaimy.

And everyone hated Ianna.

She felt herself being pulled up. When she opened her eyes, she was inside of their little tent. Jaimy had placed her right on top of her sleeping bag, then wiggled himself into his. She wasn't sure how long she'd been out of it, but it could not have been long enough for Jaimy to have fallen asleep.

Still, the appearance of such a state gave her enough courage...

"I fancy you."

His eyebrows knit, though he did not open his eyes.

"Quite a bit."

"Hm?"

"Are you still with Evanna?"

"No," he mumbled, "I broke up with her after the Vesper junk."

Ianna bundled herself closer, the cold air had begun to see in through the tent.

"Come here."

"It's cold."

"You're fine. You'll be fine, come here."

Ianna hesitantly unwound herself and crawled over to Jaimy. She leaned down so that her face was mere inches away from his.

Jaimy opened his eyes to little slits. "When we were fourteen, you led me on."

Ianna frowned. "Don't guilt trip me-"

"I'm not, just listen." He reached out towards her and cupped her cheek. "Oh, screw the long speech, come here."

The hand that was on her cheek reached back behind her neck and pulled her forward, crashing their lips together.

Jaimy wouldn't talk to her for a month after that camping trip.

* * *

Thunderstorms reminded her of her childhood.

She didn't like her childhood.

She grasped the comfort object tightly as she maneuvered down the halls. In hindsight, it probably would've been a better idea to leave Miss Buttons in her room (lord knows what Danni would do with the information that Ianna still slept with a comfort object), but it was midnight and storming so with Ianna Miss Buttons would stay.

She tip-toed down the halls, wondering if her muffled footsteps might disturb any servants. Then she remembered that she was in the Cahill manor, and they did not keep servants.

(they were _so _strange)

Every now and then, when a bit of lightning shone through the windows, she crouched down and tried not to cry out. Crying out meant more lightning, that was one of the first things her father had taught her. At an early age she had decided she did not like the lightning, so she learned very quickly to not cry out.

She calmed down significantly once she reached the windowless hallway leading to the kitchen. Her journey would soon be over.

The treasure was meant to be a bit of ice cream, not Jaimy eating her ice cream (wearing a very thin shirt and sweatpants).

Take what you get.

He waved his spoon at her and smiled. "Would you like some?"

Ianna nodded, though insisted that she could do it herself. Jaimy feigned surprise, earning a smack.

She set Miss Buttons on the counter before opening the freezer. "What's that?"

Tub of ice cream in hand, she turned to look where Jaimy was pointing. "Oh, that's Miss- um. Nothing."

Jaimy chuckled before adding chocolate syrup to his mix. "Comfort object?" Ianna nodded. "Danni still has one, too. A bunny. Named Bunny."

Ianna smirked. That was good, very good. She had a little leverage, as long as she could find Bunny.

"I used to have one," he sighed, "but it, uh, burned away."

Ianna ceased scooping and looked over to Jaimy with an apologetic glance. No, no, he said, Ianna didn't do it. It was...

Her father.

Of course.

She half-heartedly put the ice cream back, leaving her bowl half full. She grabbed Miss Buttons and moved her over, so that now they were both staring at Jaimy (Miss Buttons sitting, Ianna standing). They ate in silence for quite a while, both finishing their bowls rather quickly. Jaimy took both of them and placed them in the dishwasher for cleaning.

Once the bowls were disposed of and ice-cream condiments put away, they regained their position of sitting and standing.

"A friend had made it for me," he explained. "My comfort object, I mean. It was a bear, but I don't remember it's name."

Ianna nodded. "Natale never had something like that. Fath- Isaac thought it was unbefitting."

Jaimy knit his eyebrows together. "But... You have that bear."

Ianna looked down towards her fingers. "Yes."

"Oh."

Being the brave woman she was, Ianna lifted her gaze to look Jaimy in the eye. Very suddenly, she was filled with the urge to run her fingers through his hair. She hadn't ever been really interested in his hair before - he was auburn, it wasn't that big of a deal - she much prefers his eyes. But something about how tussled it was then caught her attention, grabbed her desire. So, as she had always been taught that she should get what she wants, she reached up and ran her thin fingers through his dark hair.

She stopped once she reached the back of his head, just letting her hands rest there. He reached up and grabbed her right forearm, never leaving her gaze. Ianna gave him a little nudge with her fingers. He leaned down and, hesitantly at first, kissed her.

Soon enough, his hands were in her hair, his thin little shirt was off, and she was very nearly on his lap.

He grabbed ahold of her face and pushed her away. "No, no."

She was panting. "What?"

"I can't," he shook his head, "Ianna, god, I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "What?"

He pushed her off of him lightly. "Ianna, I- I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

He gulped. "Cheat."

Ianna's heart shattered. Finally, finally she'd been able to get with him - he wasn't dating Evanna anymore, they'd started talking again, he knew she liked him. And he'd gone and gotten involved with another girl.

Without ever bothering to mention it to her.

"Jacky," he said, as if saying her name would be some sort of an apology, "Jacky Rosenbloom."

Ianna stared at him before leaving. She wanted him to know, no matter how much it stung to look at him, that he hurt her.

And not for her own gain. It was so they could be even. Ianna had hurt him before, many times, and now he's manage to break the one thing she was hopeful for anymore. The only thing she had a chance left for stability in her life.

Jaimy wasn't there to see them off the next day. Danni and Neil and some other cousins were, but they claimed Jaimy wasn't feeling well. So be it, Ianna thought.

She frowned at how wet everything had become, the mud was going to stain her shoes. They were already stained as is, she needed a new pair. No, wanted. These, as much as she hated to admit it, could last a much longer time.

They left in a hurry, much to Natale's delight (he always felt more comfortable at home, despite the dangers there). Ianna, having nothing better to look at, glanced back at her good-bye waving cousins.

A figure she recognized as Jaimy darted out, holding something under his arm. He tried to grab the driver's attention, but Ianna seemed to be the only one (in the car) to notice him.

She stayed silent.

Then, at the airport, she realized her mistake. She'd left Miss Buttons on the counter that night, Jaimy was just trying to give her back.

* * *

Perhaps it was the lack of rain, which should've stricken her as unusual, but today was a good day.

William had come to visit and had drug Natale away to do whatever it was that boys did.

Which meant Ianna had a well-deserved day off.

Which meant, on this very good day, she was not expecting to see the bane of her existence waiting for her outside her favorite coffee shop.

As she approached, Jaimy held out a small bouquet. She did not accept it. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I can't visit? Do you always have to be the one to visit me? Am I banned from London?"

"As far as I'm concerned you are."

Jaimy's smile dropped, suddenly realizing just how un-excited she was that he was here. "Hey, I thought we were cool after-"

"After what?" She snapped. "After you returned Miss Buttons? Thanks for that, but that does not make us _cool_."

"Ianna, look-"

"No! You look, James!" She ran her fingers through her hair, not realizing that she had no idea what she even planned to say. "You knew I liked you, and you still did that to me. And... I guess it's some kind of karma for what happened in Korea, but that-"

"Hey," Jaimy placed a hand on her shoulder, "Ianna, I forgave you for that a long time ago."

"Yes, well, I haven't exactly forgiven myself for it." She shook his hand off and turned around to walk away. She gave herself a small smile when she heard Jaimy's uneven footsteps behind her. "And what's with the flowers anyway? Aren't you still with Jacky?"

"No."

Her stride faltered for a moment. While she had been hoping for such an answer, she did not expect it. "She broke up with me a while ago."

Ianna bit her lip to keep herself from grinning, though she did not have to do it for long. She remembered how this conversation went last time. She turned around on her heel, offering Jaimy a hard glare. "And you're here to kiss me and then tell me you're with someone else, aren't you? Yonina? Elizabeth? I wouldn't doubt it."

"No, Ianna, I-"

"Then you'll kiss me and not talk to me for a month? Kiss me then tell me who you're _going_ to be with?"

"You, hopefully!"

Ianna faltered again, taking a moment now to just look at him. He held out the flowers again. "I know I've been kind of douchey to you for a while now, and I'm sorry, but I was kind of hoping that we could... go out now?"

Ianna rubbed her thumbs nervously. She could feel the heat rush to her face, probably showcasing to him how much she wanted to say yes (judging by his smile, she assumed he thought she would).

But she had decided long ago after the kitchen-incident that she was over him. She could not get tangled up with him (it suddenly occurred to her how ridiculous she was being. He'd only _really _hurt her twice, but there were so many little things in between. Not to mention that sister and her actions).

Of course, it was easy to tell that she was not at all over him.

She took the flowers, looking intently at them to make sure none of them were plastic. Once she was a satisfied, she looked back up to him, doing her best to not look as happy as she was.

"Yes."

* * *

**Ianna - Ian**  
**Jaimy/James - Amy**  
**Danni - Dan**  
**Natale - Natalie**  
**Sinna - Sinead**  
**Nadia - Ned**  
**Talia - Ted**  
**Elizabeth - Hamilton**  
**Yonina - Jonah**  
**Jacky - Jake**  
**Isaac - Isabel**  
**William - Genderbent OC**  
**Neil - Nellie**  
**Evanna - Evan**


	4. Sleepovers

**Fair warning, this includes canon _and_ genderbent character, Amy and Ianna specifically. It could get a little confusing. Also, there is one use of the f-word; again, fair warning.**

* * *

The sleepovers were absolutely the worst part. Every reunion, every visit, Amy insisted that Ianna spend at least three to four days and two nights with her and sometimes a few of the other girls. But, for the most part, it was just the two of them (with the occasional interruption from Danni or Sinna). That should've made Ianna feel great - she got so much alone time with Amy! - but it caused some strange negative feeling in the pit of her stomach (she imagines that this is what it feels like to be 'friend zoned') that caused her to frown at the thought of the private gathering.

(Natale didn't quite understand why exactly she hated the gatherings, though Ianna supposed that was only because she'd made very sure to hide her... _preference_.)

She would never tell Amy she hated the sleepovers, though. She wouldn't have that time with Amy if she confessed. She learned, discovered, so much about the girl. Things she hadn't known or realized before. Her habit of twirling her hair during a tense moment in a movie, that she always slept with her hair in a braid (she'd often let Ianna braid it for her, something Ianna relished). Ianna was amused to learn that Amy slept in nightgowns and nightshirts, never wearing any bottom coverage (other than her underwear). It was a deep contrast to the jeans-never-a-skirt-or-dress Amy that lived in the day time.

If Amy ever realized the reason Ianna kept on with the sleepovers, she might just have to finally end herself for good. It was her little secret, and God forbid if her mother found out (because if Amy found out she'd tell Neil, Neil would tell Danni, and Danni would tell the world).

Isabel Kabra would not stand to have a... 'different' daughter.

And so she uses her Lucian training to keep her fantasies to herself. Surely, if she revealed them, Amy would never want to see or hear her again.

But it was so difficult with Amy's fingers combing through her hair and fluttering against her shoulders.

"So, you meet anyone?" The auburned girl asked.

"Pardon?" Ianna tried not to focus on how thin her fingers were, and how they were very likely the perfect length to...

"Meet any guys you like?"

Ianna bit her lip. She wasn't really into guys. Or girls, for that matter. She wasn't really into anyone, she just liked Amy. Though, she supposed, it was possible that she'd bounce back to a man if (when) Amy rejected her. Or maybe she'd just grow up alone, picking up random fuck buddies from bars.

"No," she said, "how about you?"

Amy sighed loudly, accidentally giving Ianna a sharp tug. "Sorry. No, not really. I mean," she was silent for a while, choosing to think of her answer as she french braided Ianna's hair. "Jake Rosenbloom. Remember him? Jean Louise's brother?"

Ianna sneered, she remembered the boy all too well. Gathering Amy's attention, flirting with her at every chance, only acting on physical attraction.

"Well, we've been talking a lot lately, exchanging the girls and such. And, well," Ianna could imagine her biting her lip, something she constantly tried to get Amy to stop doing. "He asked me out."

Ianna's shoulders tensed, her hands clenched against her knees. Something dropped in her stomach, something pricked in her eyes. There was an all too familiar feeling of despair taking residence in her heart. Or perhaps it was disgust in the way Amy said it. It sounded as though she had actually considered accepting his offer, as if she already had...

"You said no, of course."

She took a moment, probably pouting. "No. I, uh, I said yes."

The pit in her stomach dropped further; the disgust turned to absolute, completely recognizable, despair. Her heart started to beat faster. She hoped, although she isn't that close to her at all, that Amy cannot feel her beat increase.

"We went out yesterday," she mumbled. "It was pretty nice."

"No!" She blurted. Ianna twisted around so that she was partially facing Amy. Her half-done braid brushed the younger girl's nose. "Jake only likes you because you're beautiful!"

Amy jerked back slightly, more stunned by her words than her reaction. "Wha-what?"

"Jake doesn't like you for you, he only likes you because you're beautiful! Complete aesthetic attraction!"

Amy's face flushed ever so slightly. Ianna, realizing what she had just admitted, felt a slight warmth on her ears as well.

And for a while they sat there, just staring at the walls and avoiding one another. Amy trying to realize the exact notion behind Ianna's words, and Ianna trying to figure how she was going to work out this mess.

"What makes you think that?" Amy whispered.

Ianna bit her lip. She wasn't exactly sure which part of the statement she was referring to, but decided to stray from the more revealing aspect. "Whenever he visited, at least what I noticed, he only ever_ looked_ at you. Didn't seem to really pay attention to anything you were saying..."

Amy frowned. "And you do?"

Ianna looked the rightmost wall, for once being completely unable to look at the jade eyes that entranced her so. "Well... I- yes."

"I suppose these sleepovers wouldn't be as fun if you did ignore me..."

Relief flooded through her. Her shoulders slacked a little, the weight lifted from them momentarily.

Amy reached back up to finish Ianna's braid. "So... you think I'm beautiful?"

Ianna's blush formed again. "Yes. I mean- can't girls find other girls attractive without being accused for being attracted _to_ her?" The words rushed out much faster than she would've liked. She could actually feel Amy's hesitation, or what felt like hesitation anyway. Now she would have to tell her. Now she would have to come out.

To Ianna's surprise, Amy laughed. "Yeah, of course. You're pretty gorgeous yourself, you know?"

Ianna bit her upper lip, despite the nagging feeling that Amy probably only said that because Ianna had called her beautiful, and smiled. So what if was a tit-for-tat comment, Amy had still said it.

And so, with the greatest effort possible, Ianna did one thing she'd never really done before. "Thank you."

And she meant it. Completely.

* * *

**Ianna - Ian  
****Danni - Dan**  
Sinna - Sinead  
Natale - Natalie  
Neil - Nellie  
Jean Louise - Atticus


End file.
